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Dear Sister

Little Sister,
I am sorry for how I treated you when we were growing up.  It is no excuse, but I did it out of fits of rage and jealousy.  To say I was jealous was an understatement.  You had beauty like no child did.  I was jealous.  You had the affections of our mother wrapped around your finger.  I was jealous.  To me, it seemed like you had everything.  I was jealous.  The only thing I could control were my actions towards you.  Perhaps this is why we fought so often.  Or maybe this is why I would not let you get get close to my friends.  I would make your days miserable because it was how I felt on the inside.  Jealousy caused me misery.  I am so sorry for this.  Looking back now, I see how mean and cruel I was.  But I was in my own way.  When you were mean, it was obvious.  When I was mean, I would do it in a way that was sneaky and even more hurtful.  In all reality, you were a beautiful child with spunk and charisma, not a monster.  You were so funny.  You still are these things.  But you are stronger now.  Wiser than your years.  The pain and heartache you have endured starting as a small child has made you who you are.  You can get through anything.  I am so thankful God gave me you as my sister.  We couldn't be more different, but maybe that's the way it is supposed to be.  That way I can learn from you and hopefully you from me.  Like I said, I am sorry for all of the shit I put you through as we grew up.  I feel like we are finally getting on the right path.  There are still a few bumps in the road in our relationship but I think it is a whole lot better than it was in the past.  Sorry LB.  Please know I am here for you for whatever life throws your way.  I admire you so, so much. 
Love, Big Sister


Thanks for the lovely comments! xo, Ashley