I am sorry for how I treated you when we were growing up. It is no excuse, but I did it out of fits of rage and jealousy. To say I was jealous was an understatement. You had beauty like no child did. I was jealous. You had the affections of our mother wrapped around your finger. I was jealous. To me, it seemed like you had everything. I was jealous. The only thing I could control were my actions towards you. Perhaps this is why we fought so often. Or maybe this is why I would not let you get get close to my friends. I would make your days miserable because it was how I felt on the inside. Jealousy caused me misery. I am so sorry for this. Looking back now, I see how mean and cruel I was. But I was in my own way. When you were mean, it was obvious. When I was mean, I would do it in a way that was sneaky and even more hurtful. In all reality, you were a beautiful child with spunk and charisma, not a monster. You were so funny. You still are these things. But you are stronger now. Wiser than your years. The pain and heartache you have endured starting as a small child has made you who you are. You can get through anything. I am so thankful God gave me you as my sister. We couldn't be more different, but maybe that's the way it is supposed to be. That way I can learn from you and hopefully you from me. Like I said, I am sorry for all of the shit I put you through as we grew up. I feel like we are finally getting on the right path. There are still a few bumps in the road in our relationship but I think it is a whole lot better than it was in the past. Sorry LB. Please know I am here for you for whatever life throws your way. I admire you so, so much.
Love, Big Sister