Weekend Catch Up

It is about time I catch yall up with what has been going on with me!  It has been a very busy past couple of days.  Good, but busy.

Well, I had 3 cousins graduate college and we all came back to my grandmother's house to celebrate!  What a party that was!  I am thinking there were about 20 people in our house on Saturday.  The more the merrier!

Here is a picture of all of my cousins (we are missing my little sister who wasn't able to make it).

Me, Jeremy, Mary, Kristen, Tanya, and Josh

Later that night, we all went out to a local bar.  My cousins, aunts, and uncles.  That was a first for me (a bar with my family) but we had a blast!  When I hear this song, I will forever think of that night...

I can't believe I graduated a year ago! And now I am almost done with my first year of teaching...if only I can survive this last week.  I'm not sure I can.

23 is MY Year

Today is my birthday... and let me tell you, it has been wonderful.

I'm not going to lie, I was a little bummed that this was the first birthday I was spending away from my close friends.  Think about it- I have been in school for the past 19 or something birthdays and was always surrounded by my friends on this day.  Now, I am living with my grandparents and aunt on the commune (we jokingly call it that..it seems like everyone in my family has at least lived in this house at least once!) working a big girl job as a teacher! So there's no more coming in to a decorated locker, like in high school, and there is no going out to the bars tonight, like in college.  I was not sure just how this birthday was going to go...I was pleasantly surprised :)

I woke up, got ready for work, and came in to have breakfast with my Grandmother.  There sitting on the table was a grapefruit (I always have a grapefruit for breakfast) decorated for my birthday.  I seriously laughed out loud.  I knew my loving, creative, and eccentric aunt was up to that.  It was so cute!  And then I was called into the living room by my Grandpa, who is in a hospital bed in there, so he could sing happy birthday to me.  I don't know how many birthdays of mine he will see so I really cherished this.  I had already been so surprised and I hadn't even left for work yet!

My birthday grapefruit!

When I got to work, all my great co-workers came in to tell me happy birthday.  And then my boss came in and said she would order lunch for me!  Anything I wanted (well, in my town that means Dairy Queen, Subway, or the local Mexican Restaurant)!  So I had a great subway lunch on her.

During lunch, the secretary came in and delivered flowers my dad had sent to me.  He sent me a dozen tulips- because tulips always remind him of me because they were blooming outside the hospital the day I was born.  Best Dad EVER!  I will post a picture of the flowers as soon as they bloom!

Throughout the day, I got probably 100 "Happy birthday, Miss Farmer!"s.  The fifth grade even came and sang to me!  And my sweet 1st grade religion class all made me birthday cards.

When I got home from work, I was so surprised.  There were birthday balloons tied to the mailbox and onto a big pot of flowers half way up the driveway.  I was so excited I pulled over and took pictures of both!  And this may seem strange but my driveway is a quarter mile long, so there were lots of places to put balloons.

Balloons on the mailbox!

And more halfway down the driveway!

And when I came in, my Grandmother and Aunt had the table decorated for my birthday and a Mexican feast in the works.  And more balloons inside too :)  There even was a chocolate cake...my favorite!  The food was amazing and the cake...to die for!  I think I might even go get another piece.

Make a wish!

After dinner, I walked to the mailbox to get the mail and cut down my birthday balloons.  Inside I found a great card from my best friend, Chelsea (btw..if you don't follow her, you are missing out)!  It is friends like her I miss the most on days like today.  But I know we will be reunited in Chattanooga soon for lots of karaoke and drinks!  She wrote this blog post for me today.  Almost made me cry at work!  Check it out.

These guys all came over to wish me a happy birthday on my walk back to the house.  I am pretty sure they thought I would feed them, but I'll pretend they were singing happy birthday when they were mooing.  I'm telling y'all, I live in the sticks!

"Happppppy birthday to Mooooooo!"

So with wonderful friends, family, co-workers, and students, I have had an amazing birthday.  This birthday has far exceeded my expectations.  I am so blessed.  More to come about my celebration in Nashville with Mom and Dad this weekend.

Dear Sister

Little Sister,
I am sorry for how I treated you when we were growing up.  It is no excuse, but I did it out of fits of rage and jealousy.  To say I was jealous was an understatement.  You had beauty like no child did.  I was jealous.  You had the affections of our mother wrapped around your finger.  I was jealous.  To me, it seemed like you had everything.  I was jealous.  The only thing I could control were my actions towards you.  Perhaps this is why we fought so often.  Or maybe this is why I would not let you get get close to my friends.  I would make your days miserable because it was how I felt on the inside.  Jealousy caused me misery.  I am so sorry for this.  Looking back now, I see how mean and cruel I was.  But I was in my own way.  When you were mean, it was obvious.  When I was mean, I would do it in a way that was sneaky and even more hurtful.  In all reality, you were a beautiful child with spunk and charisma, not a monster.  You were so funny.  You still are these things.  But you are stronger now.  Wiser than your years.  The pain and heartache you have endured starting as a small child has made you who you are.  You can get through anything.  I am so thankful God gave me you as my sister.  We couldn't be more different, but maybe that's the way it is supposed to be.  That way I can learn from you and hopefully you from me.  Like I said, I am sorry for all of the shit I put you through as we grew up.  I feel like we are finally getting on the right path.  There are still a few bumps in the road in our relationship but I think it is a whole lot better than it was in the past.  Sorry LB.  Please know I am here for you for whatever life throws your way.  I admire you so, so much. 
Love, Big Sister

My Little Sister

My little sister posted this quote on my facebook wall.  I think it describes our relationship perfectly.

"Sisters annoy, interfere, criticize. Indulge in monumental sulks, in huffs, in snide remarks. Borrow. Break. Monopolize the bathroom. Are always underfoot. But if catastrophe should strike, sisters are there. Defending you against all comers."

My little sister is the strongest person I know.  She has been through at the age of 19 more than most people go through in their whole life.  I truly admire all that she has overcome and the grace that she did it with.  We may fight like the best of them, but like this quote says, if something happens, we always have each others back.  I would go to war for her and I know she would do the same for me.  Gosh, how did my mom get so lucky to have daughters like us?

Christmases Past vs. Present

Earlier, I was talking about how I have so much trouble sleeping.  Well, after being asleep for 2 hours, I woke up.  Why am I awake at 4 am?  I am not studying, I do not have a final tomorrow.  I think I am worried about lots of things.

Sometimes it makes me feel bad to worry.  I have a great life and I am so incredibly blessed.  I guess I think it is selfish for myself to worry about things.  But I do anyway.  I am worried about Christmas with my family.  I love Christmas with my whole heart because it is a time to be with family.  But, ever since my parents got a divorce, it has been kind of hard on me.  My sister and I would either have to go to my dad's on Christmas Eve, leaving my mom all alone that night OR go to his place on Christmas Day, leaving her all alone on Christmas.  I have told my mom that I hate leaving her but she says she knew what she was getting herself into.  After 19 years of waking up on Christmas morning having both my Mom and Dad open presents with my little sister, it is still so hard to have him not there.  This will be my 2nd year of missing him on Christmas morning.  Now after writing this, I feel selfish.  There are so many people who don't even have a parent alive anymore and I am complaining about not getting to see my dad on Christmas morning.  I guess each person has their own set of difficulties they must face in life and this is currently mine.  So however much the holidays are a joyful time, they still are just a little painful for me.  I was helping my mom put up ornaments on the Christmas tree and it made me so sad to see the only ones left in the bottom of the box the ones that had all of my family's names on it.  You know, the ones you can get at a kiosk at the mall and have the person write all of your families names on it.  There were three of those at the bottom of the box.  And, there was a new ornament hanging on the tree.  A set of golf clubs with the initials "JJ" on it- my mom's boyfriend.  It's funny how little things like broken ornaments in the bottom of a box can trigger emotions like that...But they can.  I just hope this holiday time can be a joyful and happy experience with both my mom and dad.